THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH
being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement
and How It was Revealed to
Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose of Limbo;
and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing Christ,
Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch
From the Honest Book of Truth,
THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1
1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo,
a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was
buried an Honest Book.
2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig
the Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it
and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and,
lying in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings
-- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of
Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days
and five nights, but found no book.
4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to
pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and
bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest
he had uncovered on the first day of his labors.
5. Omar slept.
6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance,
and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to
him in the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred
Grove wherein was hidden a Golden Chest.
7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift
the Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it
and, sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and,
dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer
of Sayings - an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel : What is this shit,
man? What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the
Inspiration of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a
Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing,
yet are paid better wages?
9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to
the Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days
and five nights.
10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and
in his Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto
him a Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto
cigar box containing many filing cards, some of them in packs
with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes
written verses, while upon others nothing was written.
11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest
Book of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into
The Land and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of
Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce
their ways and repent.