There is also
Chaos: Broadsheets of OntologicCl Anarchism by Hakim Bey
(Grim Reaper Books) of the Unarmed Expropriation Committee of the John
Henry McKay Society and Bishop of Persia (in Exile) of the Moorish
Orthodox Church of Amrerica. But out most exalted testament of all is
The Honest Book of Truth - of which there is, alas, only
one copy locked away in the Closed Stacks of the Akashic Records.
Only qualified Discordian Episkoposes with activated pineal glands may
copy passages from it - and these may only be published when they can
be shown beyond a reasonable doubt to have redeeming social value,
such as by educating you or arousing purient interest.
But this Forth and Fifth Combined Edition of Principia
Discordia is unquestionably the most influential of all the
great, immortal works of signifigicant literature our classic Greek
Goddess has inspired.
Who would even venture to guess how many wretched and
thankless lives these few astonishing pages have deprived forever of
meaningless purpose? Who can say how many seminarians read the
Principia and decided to change vocations and become
clowns, or many landlords it has caused to sell their estates and buy
yachts or airplanes for smuggling marijuana, or how many politicians
it has inspired to vanish alone into the high mountains and become
sagacious hermits, or how many investment bankers it has turned into
anarchists?
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Slim Brooks was just an ordinary merchant seaman dwelling in
the New Orleans French Quarter until he read Principia
Discordia. The he became the mysterious Keeper of the Submarine
Keys who would never tell anyone what submarine or why it was
locked.
Roger Lovin was just a dashing, talented and handsome con
artist who was too shallow to settle into any one thing. But for
years and years after he read the Principia, under his
Discordian Name of Fang the
Unwashed, he consistently and with unswerving devotion to the task
excommunicated every new person any of the rest of us initiated into
the Discordian Society.
Robert Anton Wilson was just a Playboy advisor
who wrote safe and insipid answers to inquiries from readers about the
size and present whereabouts of John Dillinger's penis until he read
this remarkable tract. Then he became Mord the Malignant and wrote a
whole library full of widely read books about the Illuminati and how
to make Syncronicity work for you in finding quarters on the
sidewalk.
Mike Gunderloy was just a compulsive reader of fanzines until
the fateful day he read Principia Discordia (under the
mistaken impression it was another fanzine). Now he is Ukelele the
Short of the Discordian Society and big-time publisher of
Factsheet Five.
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