A ZEN STORY
Test Question from
Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds
School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?
by Camden Benares,
The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal
A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America
confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself
the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.
One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him,
"go to the dilapidated
mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do
not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon
rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main
hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast
corner, face the corner, and meditate."
He did just as the Zen Master
instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He
worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the
second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on.
He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He
worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.
His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his
faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people
walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting
there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.
TO: JEHOVA YAHWEH
CARE: CELESTIAL HOTEL (SUITE #666)
PRESIDENTIAL TIER, PARADISE
THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR CURRENT POSITION AS DEITY IS HEREWITH
TERMINATED DUE TO GROSS INCOMPETENCE STOP
YOUR CHECK WILL BE MAILED STOP
PLEASE DO NOT USE ME FOR A REFERENCE
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER/OMNIBENEVOLENT POLYFATHER
POEE HIGH PRIEST