INTER-OFFICE WIRE SENT
THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA - VIGILANCE LODGE
Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal
DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE
Of possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith
released from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos Dr.
Mordecai Malignatius, KNS.
SAMPLE MESSAGE: ("HAIL ERIS")
STEP 1. Write out the message (HAIL ERIS) and put all the vowels at the end
STEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH)
STEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8)
STEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19)
STEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS)
This cryptographic cypher code is
GUARANTEED TO BE 100% UNBREAKABLE.
BEWARE! THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING YOU!
Here is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE:
The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.)
( )Official Business
(X) Surreptitious Business
From: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister
Dear Brother Mal-2,
In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted
in the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And
please stop bothering us with your incessant letters!
Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you
are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been
fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley
slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth,
circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to
Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to
the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is
Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul
Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into
Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was
the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with
secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the
Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it
on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period
that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man
in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the garden
that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of
The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in
the United States.